I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
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