All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
