thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
