I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
