he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
