I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
