Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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