Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
