He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
