i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Randomize
