you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Randomize
