I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
