Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
