Ambien. No doubt about it.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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