The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
vagina is talking i cant
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
