There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
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You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
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You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime