capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
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You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I intend to get homeless drunk
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
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I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way