Having a random hookup so left but love u
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Also, beer. Big fan.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
