Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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