i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
