I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
