okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
