woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
