the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
