We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
