dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
She bit a glass in half.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
