Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Randomize
