dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
