My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
