Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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