i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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