Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
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Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
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He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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