dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize