I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
