I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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