I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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