uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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