And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
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I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
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Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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