just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Floor bacon is actually really good
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
