This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
