I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
