I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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