Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize