matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
