So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
