I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
