Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
It's just like the Real World with babies
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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