I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
