Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
