Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
