i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
The best revenge is premature balding
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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