I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
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