is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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