Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
they need to just BURY HIM!
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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