So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
