Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
