i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
