His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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