Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
