Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
