If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
