It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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