he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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