Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
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