I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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